Pekingese Lovers?

Mommy is part of a new dog group.  Mommy must think she got cool or something overnight because she tries to tell me that I'm not as pretty as some of the other dogs.  Mommy's not very pretty herself.  Clearly, she must not realize I'm like goddess material compared to her.  Psht.

Daddy brought home another dog that looks strangely like me.  I think Daddy is mad because Mommy is my favorite and I think he's a big stinker.  This little young girl wasn't very nice when she came into my house though, and I told her that, too.  She growled at me.  I'm fatter than her.  Next time she decides to do that, I'm just gonna sit on her stupid head.

So newest in our world:  Mommy shaved 3 of the retards.  Pene has been renamed to scrappy, T.B. looks like a drowned rat, and Winnie, well, she still looks a boat (there's a post about that further down), but now, a naked boat with a black stripe.

Hold on, I need to take a minute.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Okay, I'm back.  I had to sneeze.

Anyway, so with 7 of us Pekingese living in the house, Mommy and Daddy are talking about expanding the house and letting us have our own room.  I think Mommy needs to tell Daddy I'm still sleeping in the bed.  No exceptions.

Here's a picture of "Soapy" as the little human calls her.  Mommy thinks she's all sweet.  She tried to bite Mimaw's hand off the other day.  It was hilarious.  Sweet huh?  Little holy terror, I think.  She turns on the charm, but then turns into the friggin devil.

Sophie is okay, but she is too small to be in our house and she eats EVERYTHING except the dog food.  I'm NOT okay with this, because Daddy realizes she won't eat dog food and so he fees her HUMAN food.  Brisket, Turkey, etc.  What in the HECK?  Am I not the FAVORED one?

Oy.  I gotta go pee on Daddy's pillow.  I'm getting so annoyed!

Okay, I gotta run for now.  Sophie is sniffing my chair.  Time to lay the paw down.

Love, Abigail the Fierce, of Whitewright, Texas

For the record...

For the record, I am eternally awesome.  I have no idea what in the hell is wrong with these other mutts I'm living with, but I am a princess and I deserve better.  My mommy is clearly clueless.  I've tried to teach her such things.  Let me tell you a little bit about what's wrong with my sisters:

First, Bella.  This foster thing that Mommy and Daddy took in and decided to keep.  She's jacked.  I personally think they keep her because she eats my food.  And that can't happen.  I'm top peke around here.  Bella will be walking along and randomly vomit.  It's the most disgusting thing ever.  Girls. Don't. Vomit.  Ew.  Then, she's got this grodie eye  issue and Mommy has to clean her eyes every day.  Girl.  Seriously.  Eye boogers are d-i-s-g-u-s-t-i-n-g.  I mean, for real.  Do you see MEEEEEEEEEEEE walking around looking like I just walked out of a shelter?  Puh-lease.  That mutt has gained so much weight since she came in.  Proof she's eating my treats and my food.  Her coat is so much shinier than mine, too - and I'm not real pleased about that.  But whatevs.  She's probably baked in her own vomit.

Next, T.B.  What to say about her?  She's the senior citizen in the house.  Her tongue gets everything dirty and she takes up space on the edge of bed where I jump up.  I don't like that, but because she shares my name (Abbey), she's cool in my book.  But, she's gotta lay off the growling with the treats.  I dislike this.  Very much.

Saydie - UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  This stupid yappie little dog.  She's such a bossie cow!  I mean seriously!  Just when I think I have her trained, she surprises me and yells at me.  She walks off with all my toys, she gets me in trouble, she steals my food, she claims all the cages (and still pukes in them).  AND, she's only got ONE eye.  What kind of dog can be pretty with ONE EYE?  Seriously, mom?  Are YOU the retarded one here?

Then, there's big fat ugly Fat Dog.  Fat dog is losing some weight and she's actually quite slender, but she still bows like a boat in the middle and her breath is - well, its just deathly.  Winnie tries to be all sweet and honestly, I think she's getting to her "end days" but I'm not about to admit that to anyone else ever again.  Winnie is nice and all, but she really does stink.  And she cries.  a lot.  Like, all the time.  It's so....weird.

Then, there's Penelope.  Princess poop.  Princess "stink eye."  Penelope is learning to give Saydie the stink eye more often with that one eyeball of her and I think I'm training her well, but she's got to learn to stop yelling at Saydie so MUCH!  She's making me CRAZ----EEEEE!  But, it's really funny when Saydie gets in trouble and Pene goes over and gets in her face and that stupid little tongue hangs out when she starts griping at Saydie.  For real.

On to the real stuff:

The new house is turning out well.  We LOVE the room.  Mommy and Daddy are going to build me my own castle.  Mommy said so.  She said Daddy is gonna stick it on the back of the house and it will be my very own room.  Okay, sort of.  I have to share it.  With the 5 other freak dogs.  (I mean, Pekingese.)

We have lots of land to play on and Mommy even says she's gonna buy me a goat or something.  I have no idea what that is, but it sounds like it will be fun to toss around.  When we get one, I'll post pics!

A new neighbor down the street has new puppies.  I think they're called Little Pirates or something.  Or maybe Pyreneates?  Pyreneese?  I don't know.  I can't wait to meet them.  I'm such a big girl that I can surely show them who's top dog around here.

Okay, so that's enough for now.  I think I'm gonna go back and check on my toys.  I think I smell Saydie.

Love, hugs, and kisses....

Princess Abbie...yes, The Fierce (of Whitewright)