Humans are worthless and mean...

Pene and I have decided we want new parents.

Do you know Mommy violated her first rule and ate ALL her dinner? She usually doesn't stuff herself like a fat pig, but her and Daddy and the other humans went out to the steakhouse last night and ate like bafoons.

Don't think we didn't notice. Pene may have only one eyeball, but our sniffers work just fine, thank you very much. Not so much as a drop was even brought home for me or my starving skinny little sister with one sad little pouty eye.

Pene and I have decided we're boycotting that slop they keep sticking in our bowls and we're going to eat it and then barf it up on Mommy's pillow. Perhaps when Daddy plays with me, I can barf on him.

Mommy doesn't think about me, either. A couple of weeks ago, she went to some class she said (although, it doesn't appear she learned anything, cause she's still mean and Daddy calls her a spaz). Good waste of money, Mommy. You could have bought me another treat or toy and Pene another eyeball for what you paid for in that class. Anyway, she brought me home this ball. Hellllllllllllllllooooooooooooo - the ball is bigger than my head. What E-X-A-C-T-L-Y do you expect me to do with that? Humans are dumb. Especially mine.

Pene wants me to tell you all she has to pee.

By the way, mommy and daddy dearest...

Can you not do anything about house training this worthless mutt I share a room with? Seriously, it stinks and she's like - gassy. Not a little bit either. She comes in my house area and farts in her sleep. And her mouth smells like death. What's wrong with her? Couldn't you find anyone as pretty as me?

Anyway, I've got to stop typing. My paws are sore and I need to get on top of my cage before Pene farts in my face again.

P.S. Mommy wants you to get the camera working Daddy. She needs to see Pene in action so I can get some peace and quiet...