Boycott against slop...

Whatever it is you feed me...I'm not eating it. And here's why.




WHAT is that?!?!!??

This is what Daddy was eating today - and I got my grubby little paws on it finally and I'll be dipped in poo if that isn't the most delicious thing I have ever put my little chompers on.

Pardon me, but if you think I'm going back to eating that wet crap in a can again - you are so very sorely mistaken. From now one, Mommy and Daddy will feed me the carcasses of whatever that was for me to feast upon. I shall now be known as Abigail the Carnivore of Rowlett, Texas.

Here are my demands:

If I should not receive my daily portion of yummie delicious and oh-so-tantilizing meaty goodness, I will bring my wet soggy dental bones to the bed and drop them on your head, Daddy.

If you feel it necessary to continue to feed me this overprocessed slop in a can, I will perfectly at home to regeritate that slop at your feet. And Oh, Daddy - don't even think about telling Mommy to clean it up like you usually do. This is all your fault anyway.

And my last demand - if you feel it necessary to remove the bone (like you selfishly did yesterday) before I have licked/chomped/eaten/devoured every sweet little morsel of delicious tangy rib meat from the bone, realize I will not apologize for staring at you with my big brown puppy dog eyes until you feel it necessary to get me a new piece. (And don't even think of getting it out of the trash. I'm a princess and I only eat clean food.)

So, I hope when you both come home today, you've updated yourself on my demands. I'll be waiting patiently for my treat.

Signed,

Abbie (used to the fierce) the Demanding Carnivore of Rowlett, Texas.

Cats....

I've definitely decided I hate them.

Daddy has to go to work on Saturday so Mommy and I spent ALLLLLLLLLLLLL day together on Saturday lounging around in our PJ's and muching on yummie food. Saturday night when Daddy came home, I barked and barked because I heard the doorbell ringing and was trying to tell Mommy to GET UP! She finally got up and we both went to the door and it was DADDY!!!!! He was HOME! I jumped all over him and wagged my tail so hard I thought it was gonna fall off.

Well, then the dreaded Sunday came. Mommy woke up and I'll be gosh darn if she didn't put me STRAIGHT into the bathtub. What the heck!?! I didn't smell bad! Why am I getting a bath?!

Later on, I figured it out! We took a CAR RIDE! YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! Ohmigosh, I love car rides so much. After our car ride, we were at Mimaw's and Papaw's house. Oh, I love this too. I get food from Papaw all the time. But...

This time, there was something walking around on 4 legs and making some god awful howling sound. I didn't like it, so I barked at it over and over and it kept arching up at me like it was mad at me. I just wanted to play!

I chased it up the stairs and that nasty mean 'ol thing swatted it's paw at me. That's enough for me. I went back downstairs and got my bone. I hate that cat. Let's be clear here. I'm more important. Mimaw and Papaw know this. Why did they feel the need to get that hairy thing?

Sigh, I just felt like telling you I don't like cats. They are not nice and very snooty. Unlike me, I give kisses and I love on you.

Anyone want a cat? I can sneak it out of Mimaw's and Papaw's house and give it to you. That thing has GOT to go.

I'm really a human...

Mommy and Daddy just don't know it yet. :) I'm very much human though.

Mommy is quite amusing at night. We have our evening ritual and every single night, Mommy tells me "Go tell daddy night night" and she walks to the stairs. If I'm not tired, I BOLT up the stairs and wait for her to pull her slow legs up the stairs. Sometimes, I'm so sleepy that I walk up a few and then wait for Mommy to pick me up. Daddy laughs and calls me spoiled. What's spoiled?

Oh Oh Oh, I almost forgot.. I was trying to tell you a very special story! Every night, after Daddy gives me hugs and pets night night, I run down the stairs and Mommy goes into the kitchen or the closet thingy with all the FOOOOOOOOOOOOOD and gets me a TREAT! I love this part of the night. A lot of times, I hide them for later, but sometimes, I eat them immediately. Last night, Mommy was drinking something out of one of those round things that hold the water and she gave me some. I couldn't get my nose in there - my face is in the way. So Mommy put more water in it and gave me a drink out of the cup. Daddy laughed and said "She thinks she's a human..."

Duh.

And and and... I got a treat - and and and... I got to eat it on the bed. :) Mommy and Daddy have put a special blanket on the bed for me that keeps their blankets clean. Mommy thinks I'm hairy. (Really, I'm just darn gorgeous. All the boys in the other yards think so too. I have a boyfriend a couple of houses over, but he doesn't know it yet.)

Oh oh oh.. did I tell you about the bird? I don't think I did! If I did, I'm gonna tell you again, cause Mommy is a MEAN OL TOADDDDDD!

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Found a bird. AAAAAAAAAAAALL By myself! I was so busy sniffing it for a few days Mommy didn't even notice. One day she noticed though and she was super duper upset with me. Mommy got rid of it and she said I smelled like dead bird. Smells pretty dang good to me. I was gonna eat it, but Mommy is just... sigh. Daddy would have let me have it!

Oh - and guess what? Daddy and I have this new game. When he tries to get in bed with Mommy, I RACE over to his side of the bed and nip at his fingers. What? You said I already told you this? Psht. It's a brand new game. Forget I told you before.

Anyway - Oh, and guess what else? I HEART CAP'N CRUNCH! Mommy ate this YUMMIE DELICIOUS FABULOUSLY TASTY stuff she calls cereal and she gave me some...

So, WHY are you feeding me these kibbles of dried up food? When you are over there eating chicken and cap'n crunch? How is this fair? I demand better treatment.

I'm tired. I miss my Mommy and Daddy. I think I'll take a nap and wait for them to come home.

xoxoxo
Abbie the Fiercest being of Rowlett, Texas - dont mess with me, cause I'll show you who's boss.