WHAT is that?!?!!??
This is what Daddy was eating today - and I got my grubby little paws on it finally and I'll be dipped in poo if that isn't the most delicious thing I have ever put my little chompers on.
Pardon me, but if you think I'm going back to eating that wet crap in a can again - you are so very sorely mistaken. From now one, Mommy and Daddy will feed me the carcasses of whatever that was for me to feast upon. I shall now be known as Abigail the Carnivore of Rowlett, Texas.
Here are my demands:
If I should not receive my daily portion of yummie delicious and oh-so-tantilizing meaty goodness, I will bring my wet soggy dental bones to the bed and drop them on your head, Daddy.
If you feel it necessary to continue to feed me this overprocessed slop in a can, I will perfectly at home to regeritate that slop at your feet. And Oh, Daddy - don't even think about telling Mommy to clean it up like you usually do. This is all your fault anyway.
And my last demand - if you feel it necessary to remove the bone (like you selfishly did yesterday) before I have licked/chomped/eaten/devoured every sweet little morsel of delicious tangy rib meat from the bone, realize I will not apologize for staring at you with my big brown puppy dog eyes until you feel it necessary to get me a new piece. (And don't even think of getting it out of the trash. I'm a princess and I only eat clean food.)
So, I hope when you both come home today, you've updated yourself on my demands. I'll be waiting patiently for my treat.
Signed,
Abbie (used to the fierce) the Demanding Carnivore of Rowlett, Texas.
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