Why can't I be fed something other than the kibble you put in front of me? Every night, you cook big chunks of that white stuff you call chicken. You eat those little bowls of Jello that I do love so very very much - and I appreciate you giving me tasty treats. Daddy eats all that yummie stuff that Mommy turns her nose at. It tastes really salty and mommy says it's raw fish. What does that mean? What is raw?
Yesterday, my mommy and daddy came home after work. I was so happy to see them! Mommy is on this thing she keeps calling a diet, but really it just means she eats a lot of cheese and I LOVE cheese! She always gives me some of it and throws me a couple of pieces of chicken. She's tried to give me some of that green stuff, but it tastes like grass and I don't like it.
When Mommy came home, she sat on daddy's lap and fed him some of that yummie white cake stuff she gave me the other day. It was soooooo sweet and I really wanted some. I was behaving so well. Mommy wasn't paying me any attention, so I jumped on the couch and laid my head down on her leg. I kept looking at her, but she wasn't looking at me and she kept telling Daddy not to look at me either. Why? Don't you see I'm giving you these sweet baby eyes?
I was getting agitated that Mommy was being a big fat pig and eating it all, so I pawed her leg to remind her I was laying here all nice and polite. She wasn't responding, so I had to get up and get some of the cake myself! I reached over real gentle and snapped a piece right out of her hand, but my little mouth missed! Mommy and Daddy laughed at me a lot - and I think they liked that I tried! I kept trying and EVENTUALLY, by golly, I got me a piece of that cake! Then piggish mommy kept trying to eat it and I finally tried to snap it out of her mouth. Mommy didn't think that was so funny, but she was laughing. I'm so confused. Daddy kept saying "I told you so..." Daddy rocks. He gives me what I want when he thinks mommy isn't looking. Mommy sees him though. I just smile and wag my tail cause I love my daddy a lot. He spoils me.
Last night that gate thing spit him out again and I wasn't real happy. He came to my bed and tried to hug mommy and I pounced on him and bit him. I must guard Mommy! Actually, Mommy can guard herself really well. But I like to make Daddy think I'm guarding her! He tried to come to bed last night and I wouldn't let him on the bed. I just kept circling! Daddy thinks this game is funny and I love this game a lot.
When they woke up this morning, I was curled up by their pillows where it was all nice and warm. Mommy kicks the covers a lot, so I think the pillows are my new safe spot. If only I can figure out how to make mommy step yelling at me when I step on that mop head of hers....
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