Pumpkins and scary things...

Daddy is mean. I don't like him anymore. Daddy bought these big fat orange round things that looked more like Mommy's head and put them in our yard. I tried to text Mommy but Daddy was being a big dummy and wouldn't let me on his fancy phone.

I was very adamant that looked like a dried up versions of Mommy's head were repulsive and the kids in the neighborhood would just smash them anyway. Daddy doesn't EVER listen to me. I talk and talk and talk until I'm pink in the fur and Daddy just IGNORES me.

Well, I've decided that when Daddy isn't looking, I'm going to karate chop those things right into our neighbors yard. I'm good at karate chopping too. I've been practicing on Stupid Sour Saydie's big fat one-eyed head.

ANYWAY, after all that drama yesterday, Mommy came home and bought her some new boots. She must have been mad because they have spikey heels and they look more like something Mommy might be able to squish Winnie's pimples with. Winnie is gross and has these bumps on her back. I think it's cause she's a dirty rotten dog. Well, Daddy had gone to the store (and I'm still real annoyed with him for not taking me, too) and bought these pictures. They were SCARY! So scary, in fact...that I had to do like extra praying for Daddy cause I knew Mommy was gonna rip him a giant new one when she saw them. Daddy hung them right by the door when you walk in and Mommy literally pooped a big heifer cow. It was funny. Mommy is dramatic and started talking about how those were devil pictures and how she was scared of them and she didn't want them in her house. She told Daddy she was going to paint giant crosses all over them. I think Mommy's lost her stupid marbles - but I'm sure you all knew that anyway.

So, after all the drama unfolded yesterday with Daddy buying those big orange things in our yard, Daddy MADE ME take a picture. I laughed at him because Mommy said I looked like I got into trouble in the picture. I was MAD at Daddy. You know, as much as I protest about getting my picture taken by Mommy, you'd think Daddy would learn. Let him go take pictures of Big Fat Dog. If he's lucky, he can get her paw in there. She's so fat she beeps when she walks. True story.

Oh, and Aunt Stacey - you didn't bring me cake or new toys like I said.  I'm voting you off my island, too.  You're not allowed to come over at Doggy Halloween - Pene and I voted.  At least until we get treats.  

So, I'm showing you the picture of the big orange things that look like Mommy's head. I think I'll doctor up the picture too and post my edited version instead!!!