Dislike Mommy...

Normally, Mommy stands up for me.  I'm terribly unhappy with her right now and I'll share why in a moment.  But first, I have to explain something.

Just because I have sisters doesn't mean I have to be put through the same CRUEL and UNUSUAL punishment because one of them never learned how to poop properly.  Stupid Stinky Saydie is the most retarded dog in the world and I'm sick of being groomed for her lack of being able to clean off her butt appropriately.  For the record, I am THE most beautiful dog EVAH.  I have a gorgeous white coat and Mommy (and Daddy) love me so much that they have NEVER shaved me.  I can shake my hair and it twists and turns and looks like a dusting of snow.  What can I say, I'm gorgeous?

I don't know why most of my sisters don't like the rain, but I'm about SICK of being in trouble for their inability to act like a DOG.  Yesterday, Saydie was not wanting to get wet, so she went outside, took a giant heaping CRAP and then came inside.  Well, if Mommy wasn't such a retarded BLONDE, she'd know that putting up the webcam again would be a very good idea.  Saydie brought poop in the house that morning and drug her stupid butt across the kitchen floor.   And, can you believe I had to SMELL IT all day?  Oh, God!  I think my nose is broken and I am so upset by the STENCH this dog leaves.

Well, Mommy and Daddy came home at the same time last night and Mommy took us all outside.  Daddy cleaned up the kitchen and then Stupid Friggin Saydie drags a GIANT poopball in the house attached to her fur. 

So...GREAT!  Guess what happened then?  That's right...we ALL got our butts shaved.  It wouldn't be so bad if Daddy did it, but Mommy BUTCHERED me.  I've got this giant hole where my butt is and I'm all (gasp) EXPOSED down there.  I'm so embarassed.  Mommy is such a pain in the neck.  I can't even hide myself now because Mommy left this gaping curtain hole look to my tooshie.  Ugh....And Pathetic Pene thinks that's an invitation to stick her nose in my butt and sniff. 

I seriously think I'm going in shock.  I need new parents or something.  I can't believe I have to walk around with an exposed butt and the most retarded Mommy in the world.

Going to cry now...