Well, this morning...we woke up extra early at 4:30 because Daddy was roaming around the bedroom and trying to get ready for work. Well, Daddy left close to 6 this morning and Mommy curled up on the couch with BFD. BFD was shaking this morning acting all cold, but eventually she went to sleep on Mommy's tummy. Stupid Saydie was asleep in her cage. I won't go back in there cause she barfed in it and smells like her now, even though Daddy washed the sheets. Poor Pene was asleep on the floor next to Mommy too.
Eventually, Mommy decided to wake up and get ready. Well, she let us outside and BFD was actually GOOD! She found a dog by my fence and we charged it and barked and barked. Mommy was so mad that she came out there and picked up BFD and took her inside. Then she came outside and got me. I was muddy and Mommy was TICKED. She was fussing about my pretty white hair. (Secretly, I just wanted a bath like Sour Saydie and Poor Pene got...)
Anyway, Mommy locked us in the kitchen then, but Winnie told me she wasn't having any part of it. Here's how the conversation went down!
Winnie: Where's Daddy?
Me: You're fat.
Winnie: Where's Daddy?
Me: You're still fat.
Winnie: Where's Daddy?
Me: ~sigh~ You're not very smart.
Winnie: I hear someone in the other room.
Me: Yeah, dummy. That's Mommy. She's getting ready to leave us.
Winnie: I'm gonna go get her.
Abbie gets a look of horror on her face as she notices the big scary gate in front of Winnie.
Me: If you touch that gate, it will eat you.
Winnie: Now who's not very smart?
Loud panting is heard from the bathroom. Mommy looks down and Winnie is lapping up some water from the bowl.
Mommy: Hey!!! How did you get out?
Me: Oh great, Winnie is gonna get us in trouble.
Mommy comes in with Winnie under her arm and places her back in the kitchen and places a chair against the outside of the gate to hold it against the wall.
Me: Not only are you fat, but you're gonna get us in trouble. Way to go, BFD.
Winnie: ~looks at Abbie~
Me: What?
Winnie: I'm going back in there.
Me: You're gonna get us in trouble.
Winnie: So?
Me: So? My treats is so!
Winnie: ~nudges the gate and wiggles out~
Me: You can barely fit through there, you fat butt. Could you at least move it so I can get out too??
Winnie: You want out, you go through the gate.
Me: You're delusional.
Winnie: I don't even know what that word means.
Panting is heard and Mommy comes around the corner.
Mommy: What the? How did you get out?
Winnie: ~pants excitedly~
Me: ~meerkats~ Mommy! She's doing it all by herself! I'm not touching it!
Mommy puts Winnie back in the kitchen. She puts a table on the other side of the gate.
Winnie: I'm not staying in here, Mommy.
Mommy: Stay put.
Mommy walks into the bedroom and hears a banging noise.
Me: Mommy is gonna come in here and see you banging your head into the gate and moving it and she's gonna make it where you can't move it. At least stop showing her how you're doing it!
Winnie: You're the dumbest dog ever. You probably used to be blonde, but all your brain cells faded and you went white.
Me: ~gasp~ Well, I NEVER....
Winnie: Stop trying to pretend you're all nice. You're the meanest one in the house you fat white bird.
Me: ~growl~
Winnie: ~wiggles through the gate again and runs to Mommy~
Mommy: WINNIE! I have to go to work. What are you doing, dog!?
Winnie: Mommy, where's Daddy?
Mommy puts BFD back in the kitchen. She walks back to the bedroom and comes back with the fan and places it on the opposite side of the gate.
Mommy: I'm calling Daddy and telling him if you open the gate, I'm not to blame.
Mommy takes a quick picture of BFD peering through the gate.
Mommy: Bye girls...
Okay, and on that note, here's that picture of her moving the gate again when Mommy caught her! Winnie is like majorly dumb. Mommy and Daddy will see that one of these days...
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