Dislike Mommy...

Normally, Mommy stands up for me.  I'm terribly unhappy with her right now and I'll share why in a moment.  But first, I have to explain something.

Just because I have sisters doesn't mean I have to be put through the same CRUEL and UNUSUAL punishment because one of them never learned how to poop properly.  Stupid Stinky Saydie is the most retarded dog in the world and I'm sick of being groomed for her lack of being able to clean off her butt appropriately.  For the record, I am THE most beautiful dog EVAH.  I have a gorgeous white coat and Mommy (and Daddy) love me so much that they have NEVER shaved me.  I can shake my hair and it twists and turns and looks like a dusting of snow.  What can I say, I'm gorgeous?

I don't know why most of my sisters don't like the rain, but I'm about SICK of being in trouble for their inability to act like a DOG.  Yesterday, Saydie was not wanting to get wet, so she went outside, took a giant heaping CRAP and then came inside.  Well, if Mommy wasn't such a retarded BLONDE, she'd know that putting up the webcam again would be a very good idea.  Saydie brought poop in the house that morning and drug her stupid butt across the kitchen floor.   And, can you believe I had to SMELL IT all day?  Oh, God!  I think my nose is broken and I am so upset by the STENCH this dog leaves.

Well, Mommy and Daddy came home at the same time last night and Mommy took us all outside.  Daddy cleaned up the kitchen and then Stupid Friggin Saydie drags a GIANT poopball in the house attached to her fur. 

So...GREAT!  Guess what happened then?  That's right...we ALL got our butts shaved.  It wouldn't be so bad if Daddy did it, but Mommy BUTCHERED me.  I've got this giant hole where my butt is and I'm all (gasp) EXPOSED down there.  I'm so embarassed.  Mommy is such a pain in the neck.  I can't even hide myself now because Mommy left this gaping curtain hole look to my tooshie.  Ugh....And Pathetic Pene thinks that's an invitation to stick her nose in my butt and sniff. 

I seriously think I'm going in shock.  I need new parents or something.  I can't believe I have to walk around with an exposed butt and the most retarded Mommy in the world.

Going to cry now...

Christmas updates...

Christmas time came again!  I was so excited to see all the treats that Mommy and Daddy bought just for me.  Even if the packages were addressed to all of us, I know they secretly want me to have everything.

Aunt Stacey even bought me a box of cookies and a stuffed animal with a YUMMY squeaker thingy in it.  Uncle Brian said he was very against this but Aunt Stacey knew better because she knew she needed to stay on the island...

Uncle Brian better watch it.  I'm watching HIM!!  Just because he's married to Aunt Stacey, he doesn't stay on my island by proxy.  I'm happy to vote him off too if he doesn't let Aunt Stacey bring me yummy treats!  On another note, the days leading up to Christmas were EXHAUSTING.  I had to watch the treat bag so hard to keep the other girls paws off of it.  I was so tired by the time Christmas time came around that all I wanted to do was sleep.  You can see from this surveillance picture how tired I was.  But, I guarded that bag EXTRA HARD!

On another note, I didn't get a single treat from Miran-duh-duh.  I know she knows it was Christmas.  Everyone that's anyone knows it was Christmas, so I'm very disappointed with her.  It's not like it's hard to know it's Christmas.  Duh Miran-duh-duh.  It was COLD outside.  Christmas trees were up.  Presents were under my tree...but YOU didn't send me a gift.  Therefore, I am officially moving you to the edge of the island.  You can ask Aunt Stacey how the edge of the island feels since she has lived there a long time until I recently gave her the torch back.  Don't worry though, you can keep your torch for now.  I know you're probably a fraidycat of the dark anyway...

Now, onto the last part of Christmas...

A long time ago, before I was even born, Mommy and Daddy were trying to adopt this other dog named Abby.  The people told her they couldn't have because Mommy and Daddy didn't know what they were getting themselves into with a Pekingese...

Well, just a few days ago...Daddy came home with Abby.  We're calling her Abby2.  I don't like sharing my name, but I kind of feel sorry for this dog.  She's very skinny and she's got a really long tongue that hangs out of her mouth and it makes her drool.  She's got big paws like me though and I think when she grows up, she might just be as pretty as me...minus her tongue.  I'm going to teach her some tricks though.  I heard she gives "Abby hugs" though...and I have to find out what that's all about. I can't have her one-upping me.  I'm top dog around here.

For now, I kind of like her.  She smelled like vomit when she came in, but she doesn't like car rides is what Daddy said.  That makes me sad because we all love car rides.  I'm going to do the nice sisterly thing and make her feel at home - at least until she gets in my way.  She's already doing really well because she doesn't eat the crunchy treats I like.  So I'm very happy about that.  So far, she eats the wet food and pupperonis.  She tried to eat a cookie, but just couldn't.  I think Mommy is going to try to buy her some softer cookies to see if she can eat them.

Anyway, here's a picture of Abby2.  She's actually kinda cute - in an old dog sorta way...

I can't sleep!!

I have decided to put an ad in the paper.  I simply cannot stand it anymore! 

Lat night, I spent the ENTIRE night trying to sleep, but both Winnie and Pene were SNORING so dang loudly that I couldn't get any sleep at all!  I think my princess hair is going to fall out of my head after all the tossing and turning I did last night.

I even got Mommy to record Prissy Pene snoring all night one night.  I haven't recorded Winnie yet, but if you can imagine, start a chainsaw and put it next to your head...cause that's how loud she is.  Then, she takes these A-N-N-O-Y-I-N-G long breaths and I swear, all the paint is sucked off the wall.

Now, if you add to that, Mommy's big ol fat nose snoring...ugh.  I seriously need a new home.  I think from now on, I'm going to going to put my paws over my ears and just cry everytime all that dad blasted racket starts up! 

If you know of a good home where I can get some nice rest and be free from smelly, fat, STINKY dogs, I would very much like a new home.  I'm about DONE with the snorefest of a home I live in!

I am PERSONALLY holding Aunt Stacey at fault for this too.  She's encouraging Daddy to always adopt and make our family a petting zoo..and I'm TIRED of sharing my house with all the STRAYS that keep being brought in!  First, we adopt a one eyed yappy mutt...then we get this garbage breath of a dog, Winnie...and then Daddy adopts another one eyed freak that poops everywhere.  I'm TOO GOOD FOR THIS!!!!!

I'm so exhausted.   I think I need a massage....

Daddy got busted...

First of all, Daddy is about as bright as a blackout.  He should know Mommy has eyes in the back of her head.  She catches me and the other 3 mutts doing stuff all the time and she isn't even looking at us!  I'm convinced she hides her eyes behind that mop of a head of hair of hers.

Last night, Mommy was fluffing up the bed covers for me and getting the big people bed all ready for me to lay in when Daddy came in and tried to give her a big sloppy human kiss.  Mommy turned her head and gave him a little smooch and then Daddy was all kinds of busted.  Here, let me show you the picture...

Anyway, Mommy told Daddy to stop eating coolwhip out of the bucket and can you believe Daddy had the audacity to try and blame US GIRLS?  What the heck Daddy, I thought we were on the same team?

Daddy thought he was busted because he thought WE were as sloppy as he was.  First, Daddy-oh, let me tell you something.  I'm a princess.  And if I get my fur dirty, I always ask you to clean me up.  I would NEVER walk around with stuff in my fur like you did.  Besides, Pene thinks she's always hungry and I may not come back with much fur if she gets ahold of me.  She's a vicious garbage disposal.  You should know this!

Well, after Daddy realized he was busted, Mommy took a picture of him and uploaded it to facepage.  I don't think Daddy was very happy about that, but Mommy doesn't like some of the photos Daddy takes of her where her face is all scowled either.  So, Daddy...I'm going to have to side with Mommy on this.  You deserved that.  I don't like my picture taken either, so I know how she feels!  You just wait until I get a picture of you!

On another note, Mommy's been really testy lately.  She's been sleepy and she woke up last night all sad and couldn't sleep very well.  I will be very excited when it's all done with her sleeping issues.  Cause Mommy is interrupting my beauty sleep and my fur is turning brown from age.

Mommy tried to shave my paws last night too.  I'll have you know, I'm not very happy about that.  I worked extra hard to get that mat in my fur and get the dirt between my toes and she cleaned it all up.  I think I'll make a mess in the kitchen today to tell her how unhappy I am.

Thanksgiving Updates

Well, I am pleased to announce that after a week of spending time with Mommy, Daddy, and various other family members, my little peke tummie is extra full of all things Thanksgiving related.  I've had turkey, pie, treats, and all sorts of things I'm not usually given.

I must tell you though...this Thanksgiving started out kind of scary. 

First of all, Mommy invited Aunt Stacey over.  Normally, this is a good thing, but Mommy uses this thing called Facepage (or something like that) and I sneaked onto her account and saw a VICIOUS post by Aunt Stacey and Miran-duh-duh that works with her.  I don't know this Miran-duh-duh chic, but I've got a sneaky suspiscion that Aunt Stacey has informed her of the island voting and the treat hostage negotiation.  When I was on Mommys BookFace page, I saw this:

First of all, Aunt Stacey, let me clarify the rules.  You are NEVR EVER to withhold treats from a princess.  Don't you know that's how people get be-headed?  Secondly, if you choose to withhold treats, I will be more than happy to call my mommy who will happily extinguish your flame and kick you right off my island.  I've decided I cannot vote people off my island anymore because it requires too much work and if I ruffle my fur, I'd not be as absolutely gorgeous.

Now, to address Miran-duh-duh.

You, missy poop pie...are in big fat trouble!  I've never even met you and you're conspiring with the ENEMY to withold treats from ME?  You must be crazy.  I guess Aunt Stacey hasn't told you that I have neenja skeelz and I can do a karate chop on your keyboard from all the way over here.  I've got really long fur and it enables me to fly these long lengths and then I can WHA-BAM!  Karate chop your keyboard in half!  Then, how would you type on FaceSpace?  However, I have a proposition for you...

Since you have become my newest fan...I am willing to let you remain on my island (with Scary Stacey) under one condition.  I must have 1 billion million treats mailed to me, by Christmas.  I require these in small, untouched bites and each one must come wrapped with a gold princess crown.  Oh, and don't even think of eating any.  I'm watching you!

So, back to the regular stuff...

Mommy and Daddy are back at work this week, which is really good, cause I was tired of listening to Mommy get onto me about biting Saydie.  And Mommy needs to get unlazy and bathe Pene.  She smells like doggy pee.  I can't stand to be in the same room with her anymore. 

I'll write more later, but I had to post this before I got too involved in guarding my foodbowl again.

For now, love you all...(Send treats Miran-duh-duh....)

Love, Princess Abbie.

Another one voted off the island...

Disclaimer:
Don't worry Aunt Stacey.  Your torch is still shining nicely on the patch of sand out near the water.  I'm not letting you any closer though, for now.

Dear Papaw: 

You on the other hand are full of stinky boy poop. 

Mommy came home very sad last night and told me that you are withholding her favorite soup last night.  She said Mimaw made some cheese soup for ME and HER and YOU kept it.  Mimaw and I had an ESPN conversation last night and we determined that you're a big giant poopoo head and your sharing abilities are very confined to your own stomach. 

How in the world am I ever supposed to stay this pretty if you hog all the food!?  Mommy lets us eat cheese ALL the time and we LOVE it!  It's one of our 123897128371982371922349827349283472 favorite things! 

Anyway, I thought I'd let you know that I'm not really happy with you and until you resolve this dilemma, I'm not letting you back in my house.  I'm hereby rejecting your torch until my Mommy gets her cheese soup and that's the end of that conversation.

Oh, and Mommy took some pictures of me.  Here I am making sure you know JUST HOW TIRED this post made me.  I'm completely exhausted having to think about it, now.

My island and other updates...

Well, I've got so many updates that I'm not sure where to start.

First, Mommy said that Aunt Stacey and Miran-duh-duh talked about me at her J-O-B.  That's fine.  Little Miss Miran-duh-duh can help me out a little bit by sending me her address.  I'm shipping Stinky Saydie to her, first.  I hope she likes poop smell, cause I'm about tired of Saydie smelling one big giant terd.

Then, Mommy said Aunt Stacey was bringing me a special gift because I voted her off my island.  First, she brought CAKE!  It was my FAVORITE!  Then, she brought these treats.  I'm not sure they are my favorite.  They stink and I'm glad she wasn't planning on using them as a bargaining chip to get her place on my island back.  However, even though they stink, I'm going to feed them to BFD in hopes that BFD will eat those instead of my favorite treats (which is everything else in the house...).  Well, then Mommy cheated and told her that turkey was a sure fire way to get her spot on the island back.  Well....I have to admit.  Turkey is my favoritestestestest treat in the whole wide home of Abigail.  I was also told that christmas treats have been held ransom until I give Aunt Stacey a spot back on the island. 

Daddy told Grammy that Aunt Stacey and me and Mommy have a little feud going on about the island stuff, so let me set the record straight here.

Aunt Stacey, I'm not ready to completely let you back on the island FULLY, BUT...I have a proposal for you.  For now, I'm going to give you a shoebox and you can sit on that on the beach of the island.  If you're nice to me (and don't withhold Christmas treats), I'll let you move further back in the island.  Okay okay...just kidding...

You can have your torch back! 

But, I think I'm going to have to kick someone else off my island cause it's getting crowded and I'm too pretty to be crowded.

I've got more stories to tell this week, like Daddy sharing chicken with us, Mommy sharing steak, and so many others...but for now.. I had to update you all to let you know about Aunt Stacey.  I guess if she screws up anymore, I can feed her to BFD and let BFD and her sleep on the same island!

Oh, and Miran-duh-duh...I'm still waiting for you to take Stupid Saydie.  What's wrong with you?  Don't you want this retarded dog?

Aunt Stacey and her workplace...

Mommy tells me what Aunt Stacey works with a bunch of cats.  I know that's not true because Aunt Stacey doesn't smell like cats when we see her.  I don't know what Mommy is trying to say.  She tried to tell me that girls are "catty," but that's just lame and doesn't make sense.  I think Mommy is retarded in the head or something.

Mommy talked to Aunt Stacey this morning and Mommy told me that Aunt Stacey isn't voting for lobster because I voted her off my island.  I don't really care anyway.  I'm more special than Aunt Stacey's vote, no matter what she thinks.  Cause I'm a PRINCESS!  Aunt Stacey might be bringing me something special tonight Mommy said, so if she does, I'll give her a hut back on the sand of my island.

Mommy said that Aunt Stacey works with a bunch of girls and I've got a MASTER PLAN!  There are three other mutts in this house that need homes.  I'm going to pack their pee pads, their crunchies, and their food bowls and ship them to Aunt Stacey.  That way, her cats that she works with can take care of Prissy Pene, Whiney Winnie, and Sour Saydie.  Then, I'll have my humans all to myself again and life will be good. And someone should tell Saydie she can't take ANY toys cause I've licked them all and got my scent all over them now!  Mommy said there's a girl named Miranda at Aunt Stacey's work.  I wonder if her mommy didn't like her making her name hard to spell for me?  I bet Miranda is a good match for BFD.  I bet Miranda would LOVE to have BFD as a pet.  I'm going to get rid of BFD this weekend.  I don't like her.  Miranda, please send your address...

Anyway, Daddy put some collages of us together for his friend at work and I'd like to share them with you.  Daddy was a big fat meanie and made me the pig.  He should have put that outfit on Penelope....

I'm moving out...

Mommy is a big fat meanie.  She did NOTHING to rescue me this morning when Stupid Sour Smelly Saydie and Poopy Pene Pasta were beating me up this morning.  I had to fight off not one "smelly, deformed, one eyeballed, freak," but TWO.  Both Sour Saydie and the Pee Machine were all over this morning trying to bite my feet. 

These little anklebiters are no fun to play with.  I can usually sit on Pene (as you'll see below) and get her to stop acting like a giant blonde spaz, but when Smelly Saydie joins in, it's more difficult.  Saydie tried to play the sweet little girl this morning, but eventually, her true colors showed up and she was being a brat as always.  I keep trying to tell Mommy and Daddy that we should use her as spices to help soften the lobster up for Christmas. 

Last night, Mommy and Daddy prayed together again and this time, Daddy said he was thankful for ME because I wanted to eat Winnie.  I knew it!  Daddy is so super proud of me.  And even if I misheard him, that's what I'm believing because my Daddy rocks and I know that's what he MEANT to say.  He told me the other day he doesn't like Winnie either.  Daddy says I'm the favored one around the roost!

Mommy on the other hand is too brainless to have these types of conversations with.  Mommy is like arguing with a brick wall sometimes.  She's kinda dense and when she hears me talking to her she just has this glazed over look in her eyes.

Mommy came home last night and was talking about the wedding plans again.  I'm serious about running away.  I hope Daddy is prepared for that.  Cause I know Mommy won't be around to stop me!  Daddy better not give me to those little rugrats because I'll take off with them!  Mommy said we have to get our flea medicine a week before so we don't get bit up my mosquitoes.  I think she needs to give Daddy some of that too...

Anyway, here are the pictures the security camera caught this morning!  I'm keeping them for blackmail!

 Here I am victorious over stupid Pene. 

 This is stupid Pene and Saydie not playing fair and pinning me down...

 Saydie looking pretty as I tumped Pene over.  (And yes, Daddy...tump is a word...Mommy said to click HERE and see...)

Got Lobster?

Mommy and Daddy have let me in on a little secret!  I wasn't going to spill the beans, but I'm so excited about it that I simply can't stand it anymore!  So, guess what?

WE'RE HAVING LOBSTER FOR CHRISTMAS!

Mommy and Daddy ESPN'ed me in their dreams last night and told me this secret.  I was so excited that I couldn't contain myself.  I heard lobster was so delicious and yummy that I've been waiting for YEARS to try it! 

I also heard a rumor that the fatter and older the lobster gets, the more delicate tasting it is.  If that's the case, then our lobster for Christmas should be absolutely amazing.  I know the lobster that we're going to cook is going to be fatty and pretty red in color and it will be aged quite nicely.

Now, I know the other dogs probably won't agree, but I'm going to work on getting more votes for our lobster dinner.  Perhaps if I show them our lobster, they will all agree....

BFD smells like pee....

I am officially top dog around here and Mommy and Daddy are fully aware of my sneaky copy cat capabilities. 

Winnie is a smelly dog.  No matter how many times Mommy and Daddy bathe her, she smells like pee.  I've tried to tell Mommy that before but no one EVER listens to me.  I've realized that Winnie does something that Mommy and Daddy like.  Now that I've mastered the art of learning how to behave like BFD, I can fully appreciate this photo.

Winnie always lays on her back and I've decided to take a picture of how stupid she looks.  Mommy let me borrow her super stealth camera and I managed to take a quick peek of how Winnie looks.  Now, if you'll notice, the doggy in this picture is actually ME!  You know why?  Because I'm GORGEOUS and SEXY and HAWT!  Mommy and Daddy know this because I've got pretty white fur and I've got a beautiful pink belly that shows through.  Who can't love the face of this angel? 

Oh, and you know what else makes me better than BFD?  I don't smell like a dried up old PEE RAG!  Winnie stinks.  Seriously.

Mommy has another picture of BFD sleeping with her in the bed, but I have to save that photo for tomorrow's episode.  I have a very funny story to tell you.

Oh, and Mommy and Daddy informed us we are all getting our names changed.  We are all now "Urbans."  I'm not sure what an Urban is, but I heard he's a country singer.  Does that mean we're going to get lost now since that's all country music talks about?  (Tee hee...)

Mommy and Daddy FINALLY got married and I heard we're going to have a formal wedding in a few weeks.  I guess this is an important day because Mommy has been working on my "come, stop" commands since I'm going to be carrying the rings.  Little does she know...I'm planning a get away.  Winnie and Saydie stink and I'm running away.

 

Pumpkins and scary things...

Daddy is mean. I don't like him anymore. Daddy bought these big fat orange round things that looked more like Mommy's head and put them in our yard. I tried to text Mommy but Daddy was being a big dummy and wouldn't let me on his fancy phone.

I was very adamant that looked like a dried up versions of Mommy's head were repulsive and the kids in the neighborhood would just smash them anyway. Daddy doesn't EVER listen to me. I talk and talk and talk until I'm pink in the fur and Daddy just IGNORES me.

Well, I've decided that when Daddy isn't looking, I'm going to karate chop those things right into our neighbors yard. I'm good at karate chopping too. I've been practicing on Stupid Sour Saydie's big fat one-eyed head.

ANYWAY, after all that drama yesterday, Mommy came home and bought her some new boots. She must have been mad because they have spikey heels and they look more like something Mommy might be able to squish Winnie's pimples with. Winnie is gross and has these bumps on her back. I think it's cause she's a dirty rotten dog. Well, Daddy had gone to the store (and I'm still real annoyed with him for not taking me, too) and bought these pictures. They were SCARY! So scary, in fact...that I had to do like extra praying for Daddy cause I knew Mommy was gonna rip him a giant new one when she saw them. Daddy hung them right by the door when you walk in and Mommy literally pooped a big heifer cow. It was funny. Mommy is dramatic and started talking about how those were devil pictures and how she was scared of them and she didn't want them in her house. She told Daddy she was going to paint giant crosses all over them. I think Mommy's lost her stupid marbles - but I'm sure you all knew that anyway.

So, after all the drama unfolded yesterday with Daddy buying those big orange things in our yard, Daddy MADE ME take a picture. I laughed at him because Mommy said I looked like I got into trouble in the picture. I was MAD at Daddy. You know, as much as I protest about getting my picture taken by Mommy, you'd think Daddy would learn. Let him go take pictures of Big Fat Dog. If he's lucky, he can get her paw in there. She's so fat she beeps when she walks. True story.

Oh, and Aunt Stacey - you didn't bring me cake or new toys like I said.  I'm voting you off my island, too.  You're not allowed to come over at Doggy Halloween - Pene and I voted.  At least until we get treats.  

So, I'm showing you the picture of the big orange things that look like Mommy's head. I think I'll doctor up the picture too and post my edited version instead!!!

Locking down the food...

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful white doggy on the side of the road that was getting human handled by a 3 year old girl. Soon, I saw my forever Mommy and Daddy and they came to pick me up and love me forever! I came home to my very awesome home where I had plenty of toys, food, and lots of love and kisses and treats. I lived this way for about a year before we adopted my sister, Penelope. At first, she smelled really bad and she had only one eye. But after time, I learned to love her like one of my very own, even though she was much older than I was. I heard she had lots of babies and was always kept in a cage. I felt really sorry for her, so I loved on her a lot and we became really close. I shared everything with her.

Then, we adopted the other two smelly rats and everything changed. I get really stressed out now. My life is so exhausting. I'm the most prettiest doggy in the house. All of these "rescues" (as Mommy and Daddy call them) came into my house shaved. I've never been shaved, except when Daddy cuts pantaloons into my bottom cause I poop on myself. My hair is beautiful, thick, and soft. I think my hair is falling out these days though. I have to spend so much time watching my food from the other hogs in the house that I'm always so stressed out that I won't get any food at all!

Mommy and Daddy used to say that the reason the other girls ate so much was because they weren't sure when they were going to get their next meal. I used to make sure to save my food for when I wanted to eat it, but here lately, I have to guard it extra close. I'm soooo exhausted! Sometimes, I look over at Pene and all I want to do is sleep, but she's got a crazy long tongue and I'm so afraid she will sneak a bite when I'm not looking.

I think I need to put an Abbie lock on the food. I really need to rest and I'm so tired of guarding it. My security camera caught this picture of me. I was trying so hard not to fall asleep and guard my food...but I'm soooo....sleepy.....

Aunt Stacey's Birthday - and no cake...

I'm really irritated. I want you to know that. Normally, when there's birthdays around here, I get cake. I've gotten it every year and for some reason, Aunt Stacey thinks that because she lives somewhere other than my house, she's entitled to skip out on my cake. Well, I've got a fresh Doggy Law for you, Aunt Stacey. YOU. ARE. WRONG! Aside from me needing to be fed and celebrate your birthday with you in true doggy fashion, Mommy is losing a few pounds and I'm afraid if we don't fatten her back up, we might actually have to look harder for her in the house. Right now, it's so easy to find her. We just listen for the beeping... *snicker*

Mommy is being SO annoying today, too. She was trying to get pictures today and rather than being a COOL Mommy, she got us FAKE balloons for Aunt Stacey's stupid birthday. She took a picture of us, then put it on her computer, then let her screen saver activate and then took a picture of a picture. (P.S. Mommy said you can click on the pictures to make them bigger and read the text if you're eyeballs are as old as you are now!)



Mommy - you are L-A-M-E! Aunt Stacey told me tell you that your idea is dumb and you're not very bright for being the oldest.

Well, we were made to take photos anyway...so I took it upon myself to add some doggy-righteous captions to them. BFD's picture was actually kinda pretty, so I was nice to her. Stupid Sorry Smelly Saydie is just too dumb to take pictures. That's okay though. I don't like her. She got her stupid slobber all over my sheep and I'm mad at her. Perhaps me farting on it will deter her.

Anyway, Mommy's group photo efforts have to be uploaded. You'll understand why I hate photo day so much.












Oh, and Aunt Stacey - we really do wish you happy birthday. But, next time you come...we expect cake, and I want a new toy with a fresh squeaker. I'm holding one of the rugrats ransom next time I see you if I don't get it...

Love, Hugs, and Princess Kisses...

Abigail

Saydie is a fat cow...

Yesterday, I decided that I love Daddy more than Mommy. Daddy spent more time with us yesterday, so I'm voting Mommy off my island now. Mommy is spending entirely too much time away from me by banning me in the bedroom cause of Stupid Saydie. It's not MY fault she's got a retarded stomach.

While Daddy was home yesterday evening slaving over the house, he was talking to Grammy. I remember Grammy. I bit her finger once when she tried to take my bone out of my house. I tried to tell her I was STARVING! She didn't listen, so I had to remind her that I was boss of my house. Course, Mommy and Daddy were very unhappy with me after that and I got in big fat trouble. Grammy thought I bit her finger off. I can't bite fingers off. That's Winnie's job.

Stupid Saydie is a big fat cow, too. She figured out how to get under the stool that Daddy has blocking us off. She's as mean as stupid Winnie is. Winnie didn't move the gate for me last time and now Saydie is doing the same thing!!! It's NOT FAIR! Why do I have to always be behind the gate?

Pene was sleeping in Mommy's arms the other day and Mommy got a picture of her. I think she was just trying to pretend like she was sleeping cause Mommy adores her when she snores. I know this cause she was opening her eyeball at me every now and then and winking at me. (It's still winking, if you have only one eye...)

Anyway, here's a photo!

Punished for things not my fault...

Well, first...I have to tell you...Mommy learned her lesson. Saturday, Mommy and Daddy went to the game and Mommy looked all kinds of cute. Daddy tied pretty bows in her hair for the rugrats football games and her shirt matched the bows. Mommy said she was showing team spirit. I'm not sure what that is, but it sounds like it might smell funny. Mommy always stinks after she comes home from a game and since Daddy says her stink smells like perfume, I'm the one who has to be honest and tell Mommy she smells like poop.

Mommy and Daddy came home much later than normal Saturday night. They told us they went to eat (GASP) and that the game went into sudden death overtime. First, anything that goes into death for kids is probably bad. Mommy and I need to have a talk about that. Second, I'm really pissed at Daddy for not bringing ME home any treats from eating. I mean, we were hungry too!!!

Mommy was all red when she came home and somehow, we got punished. We weren't allowed to sleep on the bed because Daddy told me Mommy was burned. Mommy was not burned. Mommy was a little pink, but her skin was not black like the grill when things get burned on it. I think Daddy is just trying to keep Pene's Peebutt off the bed.

Well, Monday, Mommy stayed home and I was made to sleep on the floor. I didnt think it was fair. Mommy slept on the couch all day and complained about her sunburn. We weren't allowed to move around very much cause Mommy was super whiny about her "burn." Well, Princess Pene Pasta (spoiled little brat that she is) got to lay on doggy couch ALL DAY and sleep. I took a picture of her on it.



Then, LAST NIGHT...you will never guess what happened! We ALL got to sleep in the bathroom ALL NIGHT! I'm blaming Saydie for this because thanks to her poopy butt (as usual), we all are no longer allowed to sleep with our family because Saydie can't control what comes out of her hole. We have pee pads, but Saydie likes the carpet and Daddy laid down the doggy law for all of us because of Stupid Saydie.

Anyway, Mommy is at work today and we're stuck in the kitchen. Mommy said she's gonna get some fiber for Saydie to harden up her poop. I'm gonna laugh when that happens. Saydie is disgusting and I'm starting a petition that she gets removed from the house. Besides, she acts like a cat anyway.

Winnie...the troublemaker

Mommy has had some laziness issues lately. Last night, she was especially gripey because Daddy turned off True Blood after only the very first few minutes of the introduction to the Season Finale. He told her to go to bed. She whined about it (I guess cause she knows that works for us...) and then finally went to sleep. Mommy is cranky when she's tired though, so we appreciated Daddy fussing at her.

Well, this morning...we woke up extra early at 4:30 because Daddy was roaming around the bedroom and trying to get ready for work. Well, Daddy left close to 6 this morning and Mommy curled up on the couch with BFD. BFD was shaking this morning acting all cold, but eventually she went to sleep on Mommy's tummy. Stupid Saydie was asleep in her cage. I won't go back in there cause she barfed in it and smells like her now, even though Daddy washed the sheets. Poor Pene was asleep on the floor next to Mommy too.

Eventually, Mommy decided to wake up and get ready. Well, she let us outside and BFD was actually GOOD! She found a dog by my fence and we charged it and barked and barked. Mommy was so mad that she came out there and picked up BFD and took her inside. Then she came outside and got me. I was muddy and Mommy was TICKED. She was fussing about my pretty white hair. (Secretly, I just wanted a bath like Sour Saydie and Poor Pene got...)

Anyway, Mommy locked us in the kitchen then, but Winnie told me she wasn't having any part of it. Here's how the conversation went down!

Winnie: Where's Daddy?
Me: You're fat.
Winnie: Where's Daddy?
Me: You're still fat.
Winnie: Where's Daddy?
Me: ~sigh~ You're not very smart.
Winnie: I hear someone in the other room.
Me: Yeah, dummy. That's Mommy. She's getting ready to leave us.
Winnie: I'm gonna go get her.

Abbie gets a look of horror on her face as she notices the big scary gate in front of Winnie.

Me: If you touch that gate, it will eat you.
Winnie: Now who's not very smart?

Loud panting is heard from the bathroom. Mommy looks down and Winnie is lapping up some water from the bowl.

Mommy: Hey!!! How did you get out? Oh crap. Who else got out? YOU GIRLS BETTER NOT HAVE PEED ANYWHERE!
Me: Oh great, Winnie is gonna get us in trouble.

Mommy comes in with Winnie under her arm and places her back in the kitchen and places a chair against the outside of the gate to hold it against the wall.

Me: Not only are you fat, but you're gonna get us in trouble. Way to go, BFD.
Winnie: ~looks at Abbie~
Me: What?
Winnie: I'm going back in there.
Me: You're gonna get us in trouble.
Winnie: So?
Me: So? My treats is so!
Winnie: ~nudges the gate and wiggles out~
Me: You can barely fit through there, you fat butt. Could you at least move it so I can get out too??
Winnie: You want out, you go through the gate.
Me: You're delusional.
Winnie: I don't even know what that word means.

Panting is heard and Mommy comes around the corner.

Mommy: What the? How did you get out?
Winnie: ~pants excitedly~
Me: ~meerkats~ Mommy! She's doing it all by herself! I'm not touching it!

Mommy puts Winnie back in the kitchen. She puts a table on the other side of the gate.

Winnie: I'm not staying in here, Mommy.
Mommy: Stay put.

Mommy walks into the bedroom and hears a banging noise.

Me: Mommy is gonna come in here and see you banging your head into the gate and moving it and she's gonna make it where you can't move it. At least stop showing her how you're doing it!
Winnie: You're the dumbest dog ever. You probably used to be blonde, but all your brain cells faded and you went white.
Me: ~gasp~ Well, I NEVER....
Winnie: Stop trying to pretend you're all nice. You're the meanest one in the house you fat white bird.
Me: ~growl~
Winnie: ~wiggles through the gate again and runs to Mommy~

Mommy: WINNIE! I have to go to work. What are you doing, dog!?
Winnie: Mommy, where's Daddy?

Mommy puts BFD back in the kitchen. She walks back to the bedroom and comes back with the fan and places it on the opposite side of the gate.

Mommy: I'm calling Daddy and telling him if you open the gate, I'm not to blame.

Mommy takes a quick picture of BFD peering through the gate.

Mommy: Bye girls...

Okay, and on that note, here's that picture of her moving the gate again when Mommy caught her! Winnie is like majorly dumb. Mommy and Daddy will see that one of these days...

The Princess Froggie

I'm so SICK of sharing my toys with Stupid Saydie. Daddy is a big mean dumb dumb and encourages Smelly Saydie to play with my toys and I DON'T LIKE IT! Mommy came home one day and brought ME a new pink princess frog. I love that princess frog and Sorry Saydie keeps sinking her smelly mouth into it and now my pink princess frog smells like Sour Saydie. Saydie stinks. And I don't like her stink on my toys. It's not fair! They are mine and I was here first!

Daddy came home looking weird last night. He has some new eyeballs after he broke his yesterday and so he sat down to play with us for a while. I guess he had to get used to seeing my pretty fur in high definition. He must have been missing out on how pretty I was. Mommy was obsessing over his glasses saying how nice he looked and how much she liked his glasses...but I think Mommy was just fishing for a reason to get Daddy to spend time with her. She tells me all the time that she hates having to do homework and she wishes she and Daddy could just spend time together hanging out not having to do homework. (Mommy's not very smart anyway...she says mean thing to the laptop when she's doing her statistics.)

Mommy caught a picture of Psycho Saydie as she was trying to take my princess frog. I was NOT happy. It's got Saydie Slobber all over it now and I've got to figure out how to get that off. I can't let Mommy have it because she tries to wash my toys sometimes and I get upset when the squeakers don't work. Mimaw was really nice and put a new squeaker in my poodle for me, but now she's telling me if it ever gets messed up again she won't fix it. I bet I can look at her with my big beautiful eyes and she'll fix it!

Anyway, the last picture Mommy got was of me so happy I got my princess frog back. I was so delighted that I actually gave Mommy a big smile for the camera! So here's the pictures I was telling you about!

For now, I need to go and check on Pene. She has been acting extra spoiled and I think she's planning to get extra treats because she's only got eye and her hip is misplaced.

Pene Pasta and the misplaced hip...

Pene has been extra special lately. And by special, I mean S-p-e-c-i-a-l with a capital S.

A long time ago, when we first brought muttley home, we knew she was special. Her little bouncy walk, her weird underbite, and her yappy little bark. Not to mention, dorkmutt only has one eye. Shortly after bringing her home, Mommy went to pick her up and blondie started yelping and acting all crazy like. I think Mommy got upset because they took her somewhere and when she came back, she smelled like the vets office and she was all drugged up and not moving.

(Don't tell her this, but I was scared for her. I spent days by her side trying to figure out what was wrong, but she was on all sorts of medicine and couldn't tell me.)

The last few days, Pene has gone back to being extra yelpy. She's been crying a lot. Yesterday, Mommy picked her up and you'd think Mommy killed her. She was crying and whining and wouldn't let anyone touch her. Daddy jumped in the bedroom to help her and calm her down and I think I heard Mommy and Daddy say something about her hip displacement acting up? I think Mommy said hip dysplacia, but that can't be right. It had to be displacement. Dysplacia isn't even a word! (Stupid humans.)

Anyway, Mommy and Daddy gave Pene some doggy advil to stop the inflammation and some xanax to calm her down and make her sleep. Well, that stuff must have worked because she was alone in Daddy's room all by herself all day and none of us were allowed in there! Why in the world were WE punished?

Mommy has been looking at hip replacement pictures too. I bet Mommy is gonna turn pasta girl into a robot. I need to warn her. Pretty soon, I'll come home to robodog!

Anyway, I don't do this very often, but please keep Pene Pasta in your thoughts. I know she doesn't feel good and Mommy and Daddy don't want her to have surgery. For now, though...I'll just have to make sure to eat her food so she doesn't put extra weight on her misplaced hip.

Mr. Lamb

These past few days have been absolutely crazy in the Abbie household. I had a major episode with Mr. Lamb and Mommy almost took him away from me. Mommy said Mimaw called her and voiced her opinion on why she's always on the poop list on my blog. Mommy asked that I address that...so let me be very clear here.

Mimaw...YOU LEFT ME.

Okay, now that we've gotten that out of the way...

Pene is hurting. Mommy won't let us in the same room with her. Mommy said something about her crying a lot and maybe having to take her to the doctor. They gave her some Xanax and some Doggy Advil, but I think she's just being needy. I'll go kick her later.

Now, on to the story about Mr. Lamb.

The other night, Mommy was trying to play with Mr. Lamb with me and I had about enough. I finally got him all to myself and Mommy was so upset because I was ripping his innards out.

Well, there's something wrong with Mr. Lamb. He's got like crazy long stringy intestines that smell like bacon. I can't help myself. Mommy says that I treat him like a puppy, but I think she's stupid. I think Mommy doesn't know that I don't have baby making parts. Besides, boys are grody. Who wants to be near them anyway?

So, here's the pictures of me and my Mr. Lamb. Notice that Stupid Saydie isn't in this picture. I had to push her off the bed to leave me and Mr. Lamb alone...

This is the scary Lamb face. Look how he gives me the evil eye. He's freaky and he stares at me, so I have to show him who's boss around here!

Here he is trying to be all cutesy and stand up on my Mommy's side of the bed. That's okay. I figured out his game and quickly brought him down to my level.

Here I am, victorious! Mr. Lamb has been restrained and I am ready to perform surgery on his bacony innards!

Here's me using my sharp little pokers on his guts. Mr. Lamb doesn't stand a chance!

I've gotten a good grip on him! It's only a matter of time before I can rip those stupid little strings out of his body!

VICTORY!!!!! I have a string! And it's all mine! Look at his scared little face! That's right, Mr. Lamb! I'm the BOSS!

Gravy Train!

Mommy RULES! Even though she feels like poop on a stick today, Mommy managed to drag her fat butt out of bed and make us scrambled eggs. We use to get these a lot from Mimaw, but since she abandoned us to live by herself, we have to practically beg to get regular food these days.

Daddy left for work early this morning and we stayed in bed and kept Mommy warm and loved on her. Mommy thinks we have magical powers to take away people germs, but I think it's more just cause Mommy likes the smell of our butts. She makes a crinkly nose sometimes and it makes me giggle. Mommy knows that Pene sticks her head in my butt, so I guess Mommy thinks its okay to lift my tail, too.

Sometimes, Mommy gets real upset with me and picks me up and won't let my tail down when I've made a mess and she takes me to a sink. I don't like it when that happens, but Mommy takes extra special care of me and makes Daddy help.

Anyway, that's enough writing for today. I've got to go help Pene now since she puked under Mommy's chair and Mommy is screaming.

Saydie is a thief

I'm not a stupid Pekingese, despite what the brainless Saydie thinks. I've watched her and I know she tries to sneak up on me like a ninja and take my treats. This time, Mommy helped me get proof. We're going to take her to Doggie Court and have her paws glued to her stupid bed the next time I get a treat so she leaves me alone. I gave some serious consideration to having her removed from the house, but she's the only one who plays with me anymore and besides, if she gets removed from the house...who else can I blame it on when there is poop on the floor? (Mommy hates poop by the way. A lot.)

So, I've decided to show you my proof. After I got my sweet potato bone, Stupid Saydie (yes, I've renamed her) tried to sneak up on me.



Notice in this picture, I see her out of the corner of my eye. If I could have folded my paws to do that "I'm watching you" thing that Mommy does to me when she gives me the evil eye, I would have. So instead, I had to give her the evil eye from the side.



Here she is thinking I don't see her again. Notice how she's walked AROUND me (which she thinks I didn't see...) and now she's trying to be a NINJA and sneak up on me...



Notice in this picture, she's just looking at my bone with envy. Her fur almost turned GREEN! Mommy had a little talk with her though about she isn't to take my bones. I thought it was only fair. I get told that all the time.

So, here I am, safe and sound with my sweet potato bone because Mommy LOVES ME and is protecting me.

P.S. Daddy, I still don't like you for leaving my rock on the counter the other day. I'm not voting for you anymore.

Daddy sucks!

Daddy is a big fat mean poo poo head. I've decided I'm not going to be nice to him anymore. I think tonight, when Mommy gets home, I will ask her if I can go outside and then run around in the dirt, then I'll tromple alllllllllllllllllll over Daddy's pillow.

Daddy thought he would be funny...so look what he did.



Daddy put MY ROCK on the kitchen counter, staring down at me...where I'd have to look at it all day.

All I gotta say is, I'm calling Verizon to install a home phone for me and my sisters so I can call Mimaw to come rescue my rock when Daddy is a punk.

It's ON, Daddy. YOU JUST WAIT!

We miss Daddy...

Today is not a normal weekend. Sometimes, Daddy goes out to play with his friends on a Saturday night and the three rugrats come to visit us when Aunt Stacey spends the night. I've not been so lucky this time. Mommy said something about little hellions having to go back to school and Aunt Stacey has to start school too. So, I guess a weekend with me was just not very relaxing or something so Aunt Stacey said they would not come over to see me. That's fine. I'll remember that next time she comes over. She better bring me a new squeaky cause I'm very disappointed with her.

Mommy has started school again and we're having to revert back to the old way of doing things. A long time ago, when Mommy was in school, Daddy used to play his computer upstairs for hours. I'm the only one smart enough to know how to use the stairs. Saydie is too retarded to learn how to do anything but prance. Pene can't figure out what stairs are and BFD...well, if you're belly drug the ground, could you use the stairs?? So now that Mommy is back to spending all her time on that black thing in her office, we have to sit around in her office begging for attention. These are the days we miss Daddy because Mommy sucks at giving us attention. Saydie has taken to the couch, which I think is wonderful. I've thought about barfing on that couch so she doesn't sleep there anymore.

Pene, as you can see...is right back to sitting in Mommy's doorway. I think she's too dense to understand that Mommy can't see her there. There are other times when she sits under Mommy's chair and I keep telling her to not do that cause Mommy isn't the brightest and doesn't remember to check for my sister. When she yelps, I have to come looking for her to make sure Mommy didn't do much damage.

And BFD - well...she's doing what she does best. She waits by the door for Daddy. I'm convinced BFD isn't all there in her head. Maybe she's Pene's long lost daughter? I guess the best thing I can do is just pat her little precious head. I've thought about asking Mommy if we can trade her in, but just between you and me, I think I kinda like her - except when she opens that death mouth of hers. Not only is she loud, but my GAWD she stinks.

Well, that's enough for now. I think I'll fill you in on more of my stuff later. I have to update you on the Petsmart trip we had yesterday (must get pictures as proof first!) and then about Mommy's closet which I got into big fat trouble over.

Strawberry Sprinkle Cupcakes

Well, Mommy tried. Bless her little heart.


Mommy made Daddy a very yummy dinner last night and we were all such good girls that we all got some of it too! Mommy made meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and steamed green beans. I didn't want the green beans. I really wanted the meatloaf!


Then, Mommy tried to make the strawberry sprinkles cupckaes recipe. The cupcakes were pretty good, but I think Mommy failed miserably on the icing. It was kind of runny. It stayed on the cupcakes, but I think sprinkles makes thicker icing. Mommy didn't have a mixer, so she tried to do it by hand and Mommy is weak and probably didn't do it right. She kept saying how hard it was to try and make butter "light and fluffy" with just a spatula. I'm not sure what a spatula is, but it sounds horrible.


Anyway, I tried some of the icing and at first, it was suppppppppppppper sugary! But, I loved it anyway! Winnie didn't care for it too much, but she's weird anyway!


Then, Mommy got a call from Daddy and she said she was gonna take some over to Mimaw and Papaw and THANKFULLY Daddy told her to "take a dog..." so I got to go on a car ride to see Mimaw!! AND...I got to lick the dish when Mimaw transferred the cupcakes!


Mommy got a picture of all of us last night - except Pene was trying to run away...so as usual, she's nothing but a blur of blonde hair. I figured I'd share it anyway...cause it's a really great picture of how pretty I am.

Someone was shooting...

I heard very suspicious sounds Saturday night and my Mommy and Daddy were not home. I've heard these popping sounds before, but most of the time they come from the TV. This time, they were coming from outside.

Saturday, Mommy and Daddy invited the hellions over. All 3 of our cousins came over and spent time chasing us around the house loving on us and giving us all sorts of things we weren't supposed to have...

Well, then...Saturday night, Mommy and Daddy and the little humans left. Don't ask me where they went...for some reason I didn't get to go. (And I've got a serious bone to pick with my Mommy about that because I know she had something to do with that...)

Anyway - back to MY story. Around 9 PM (yes, I can tell time), my sisters and I heard these strange popping sounds. I think someone was shooting a gun! Stupid Pene was sleeping, but I woke her up and as usual, she started barking right away. She doesn't fool me. I know she wasn't paying attention! Well, then Winnie was all grumpified and acting like a spoiled b-r-a-t and was really getting on my nerves. Saydie, I think she's just deaf - or doesn't care. That's fine though cause I'm gonna tell Mommy she's a stupid guard dog and she sucks.

Mommy and Daddy came back home later that night with the hellions and it seems like everyone was okay. I'm not sure what it was, but I heard Mommy talking about fireworks at Rowlett. What are fireworks and why didn't I get any to eat? I'm starving here!

Mommy starts school again tonight, so I'm sure I'm about to get a big huge heap of "ignore Abbie" all over again. I just hope that she learns that I'm not gonna stand for it and if I must resort to desperate measures...I have a full bladder waiting...

Big Fat...T-R-O-U-B-L-E!

Before you ask, no Mommy and Daddy are not calling me fat. They'd never do such a thing. Besides, the vet said that BFD needed to lose some weight, so I'm quite certain that I, beautiful princess Abigail would NEVER be called F-A-T.

However, someone is in BIG FAT T-R-O-U-B-L-E!



Now, I'm happy to admit I was less than cooperative for this picture, but let me tell you why. BFD and I got into a big 'ol stinking fight and I finally sunk my teeth into those nasty ears of her and wouldn't let go. Mommy got so stinkin' mad that she pulled Winnie out of my mouth and pushed her to the ground and then for some reason, I (precious little me) got into trouble. I kept trying to tell her that I didn't want my stupid picture taken, but Mommy WOULD NOT listen.

I kept trying to insist that I did not want to sit by any of my sisters and eventually, stupid BFD jumped in and started attacking me. Psht. How am I in trouble again? I was just defending myself.

Whatever the case, I guess Mommy and Daddy have been trying to get this picture of all 4 of us for a while now and I sure hope that my stupid human has this out of her system because I'm T-H-R-O-U-G-H taking pictures with my fat ugly sisters.

First, Pene is gassy. She eats anything. Daddy calls her a human garbage disposal so her mouth and her butt smells like trash. Saydie smells like vomit. What?! She does!! She's always puking and stuff. I think she's anorexic or something. And Winnie - UGH!!!! Something seriously crawled in that fat dogs mouth and D-I-E-D! I mean, really...chew a mint for Pete's sake...

So that brings me to now...I got into so much trouble that Mommy sent me to my room. So fine, that's where I'm sitting for now. I didn't want to be on the bed anyway. Humans stink.



So I'm going to sit in here and work on my puppy dog eyes and stare at Mommy. Maybe she'll get the idea. And if not, maybe I can go work on Daddy some since he always loves me most anyway.

Love, paws, and kisses...

I rule the roost...

These other mutts in the house are starting to annoy me. I've got several complaints, but mostly, they lie around with the other 3 things in this house that attempt to be called part of the family.

Pene has started to think she's some deserving b-r-a-t or something like that. Mommy and I have a routine. Every morning, she gets up and takes the scrunchie out of her hair and I run to the shower to greet her and hold it for her. Pene - runs to the shower and sits on Mommy's towel like a dingbat and guards her (as if Mommy is gonna get lost...). Well, now, Pene has decided that SHE is entitled to the scrunchie. Normally, this wouldn't be an issue, but have you seen the amount of drool that dog puts out? Seriously, like.. it's all wet and stuff. GROSS.

Then, there's this stupid wallering mutt, Saydie. Saydie has literally squirmed into this family and thinks she's some princess. Mommy and Daddy call her bed head. I just think she's a dead head. Then, we get to B.F.D. Her barking got us all into trouble, too. Mommy bought this white thingy that she holds when fat dog starts barking and it makes this awful noise. Fat dog must understand to shut it because she immediately runs off. I hate it when she barks because we all get into trouble for it if we're all barking at her to shut her trap. Doesn't Mommy know we're only trying to help?

Little miss Pene princess pooper thinks she's queen bee around here. Regardless of the amount of times I've informed her that she's ugly without two eyeballs, she still prances around and yaps. Someone seriously needs to give that girl a mirror. That's okay though...I've got this eyeball thing figured out. Just the other day, Mommy and Daddy picked up on my little trick too. I was playing with Saydie and I've learned that these little one eyeballed freaks of nature can't see so well on the other side with no eye. Well... Pene and Saydie have started to play like I play...and that's not fair. I'm the boss around here and I like to do things MY way. I don't like anyone else copying my games with my Daddy. I was here first and by golly, I won't tolerate any theiving of the humans. Anyway, so the other day...Saydie was trying to bite my ankles. She only does that cause I'm taller than she is. So, I walked around to the side of her with no eyeball and promptly bit her in the middle of her back. Like a super stealthy NINJA! Cause, I'm the bomb diggity...

So, little miss Saydie got all super surprised and stuff! HA! I've learned a new trick!



Mommy and Daddy thought that was quite impressive. I do believe if Mommy could have gotten unglued from her couch, she might have actually gotten me a treat too...



So, then...there's fat dog. I don't really know what to say about fat dog. Oh oh... the other day, Mommy dropped fat dog on her head. Something made a loud noise and I was secretly hoping it would silence her barking mechanism, but I wasn't so lucky. Fat dog seems to be fine and still runs her mouth every time she can.

So this is what Fat dog does all the time. She sits around and sleeps. I tried to swipe another picture with Mommy's hi tech phone, but the crazy part is that Fat dog keeps hiding under the bed most of the time - or waits like a dumbo at the door for something...